Let That Be ENOUGH

Do you ever have those days where you're just...blah? And you're where you need to be but you're not all there? And when you're talking with someone, but you're not engaged and your mind feels a million miles away? And as you walk through your day it almost seems like you have a birds eye view and you're not really there but you see yourself walking and you wonder where you're really going?

Does any of this make sense?

Do any of you get where I'm at?

Because I am so there. And I so want to get out. I want to get to a place where I walk with my head up, fully engaged, and just...loving my life because I have a God who loves life and loves people and that's the reason why I'm here. To be love. Show love. LIVE love to those around me.

TO BE JESUS.

And it all comes down to a choice: me or God?

Am I going to choose to fix my eyes on me and my problems and concerns and what I want and hope for?

Or am I going to choose to fix my eyes-GAZE-on the One who knows my problems and concerns and is in control and already has a plan for me...and who IS MY HOPE?

In this world that is full of questions, I want to be unquestioning.

I don't want to question my God.
I don't want to question my Jesus.
I don't want to question God's promises.
I don't want to question who I am in Christ.
I don't want to question my future.
I don't want to question love...giving OR receiving it.
I don't want to question my purpose.
I don't want to question my identity.
I don't want to question.

I just want to TRUST.

I want to TRUST God...with my whole heart and lean not on my own understanding.
I want to TRUST Jesus...that through what He accomplished on the cross, I am free and forgiven.
I want to TRUST that what God says is truth...that He is good and what He does is good...and that He is who He says He is.
I want to TRUST that I am royalty, that I am seen as whole, that shame does not cover my face, that I have hope, that I am covered in robes of righteousness...that I am who the I AM says I am.
I want to TRUST that God's plans for my future are good and full of hope...and that He is already there...that I don't need to be afraid.
I want to TRUST that being radical with Jesus-love inside of me, no matter how ridiculous it seems to others and no matter the circumstance, is worth it because the One who IS love is worth it.
I want to TRUST that I am here FOR CHRIST, BECAUSE OF CHRIST and for a reason...a specific purpose that God has planned out, long before the world even began...and that even though I can not see it now, I can hold on to the hand who holds ALL things together.
I want to TRUST that my life is hidden with Christ in God and that my identity and security is not based on others and what they say or think or do, but that my life is found in CHRIST and He is my security.

Questioning these things is selfish because I am saying that my way is better and that I don't believe that Jesus is enough for me. It's saying that I am fine where I am, even though I'm not, but underneath, I'm longing for more. Questioning Jesus and the TRUTH of what He says is saying that I know better than He does.

Oh, Jesus...I DO NOT!!

My ways are not better than Your ways.
Apart from You, I am nothing and I can do nothing.
Without You, I am not fine where I am-

But with You I can climb the heights.
With You I climb a mountain.
With You I can scale a wall.
With You ALL things are possible!

With YOU, I have more than enough.

Jesus...let that be enough.