WOW.
that's literally one of the only words that comes to mind for what God has been putting together these past couple months. along with..."wow"...and "crazy"...and "wow"...and...well, you get the idea.
so...let me fill you in.
ever since i was 10, i've wanted to go to Africa. i believed God was calling me to be a missionary. something about that continent intrigued me and i just couldn't wait to experience it. well...thanksgiving day of 2013, i got a text about going to South Africa on a missions trip. seriously? SIGN ME UP! and honestly, step by step of this big dream, God has been so faithful, calling me to walk by faith and not sight. He has provided and put little pieces together...and i am SO thankful and overwhelmed. and in a little over a month, i will be in Africa.
WOW.
ever since i was...well, i don't really remember, but it's been quite a while (!!!!), i've loved the thought of working at a camp. i never was a camp counselor (either because i had a job through the summer or because of a missions trip), but the stories i heard from others who experienced it drew me in and i kept it in the back of my mind and it resurrected often. i thought, "dang. hanging out with kids, encouraging them in their relationship with Jesus, spending time with others around my age going after the same thing? i could totally live with that!" and honestly, each time i went on a missions trip, i experienced a taste of that...and at times it felt insatiable. i felt SO in my element, like i was thriving and could feel no more joy than was already exploding in my heart. the community, encouragement, challenging conversations, responsibility and fulfillment each time was the best. so, i prayed. i prayed that God would put pieces together as He saw fit, whatever it looked like, and that i would follow, even if it was scary. i prayed that whatever He had in mind would be glorifying to Him first and foremost and that whatever it was He planned would be something where i could use the gifts, passions and talents He has given me. i prayed "not my will, but YOURS be done".
well, in February, my dad sits down and says, "can i make a suggestion to you, Molly?" i sigh, and pray for an open mind and heart to really hear what he has to say (because my dad is AWESOME and so wise!) and i say, "sure, Dad...whatcha got for me?" he says, "well, i was just thinking: do you think you could maybe have an idea, by May, of what you're going to do after you get back from South Africa?" i laugh. i couldn't help it! but i stopped and thought about it and said, "ya know, Dad, that's a really great idea. if God gives you any insight, could you let me know??" but i really did take that to heart and started praying that God would bring opportunities...and that i would be attentive to see what He had in mind. March came and went and about the first week of April i was talking with my mom about possibilities of what could happen after South Africa. she mentioned something about camp again...and i decided, "why not?" and started to look online. i needed something that would pay (because as much as i like to deny it, money is kinda important for some sort of survival) and a place that Jesus is lifted up. so i pulled up google and typed in "paid positions at christian camps"...and it took me to a page where there were a bunch of camps that listed job opportunities. score! and as i looked through, there were a couple that jumped out at me...and i applied. one in Arkansas...and one in Texas.
CRAZY.
so...then i prayed. a lot. and after i applied, other opportunities came up...but each one didn't work out, for one reason or another. the last week of April, i got an e-mail from the camp in Arkansas that said they weren't looking for any full time positions at this time, but thanks for your interest. and i said, "ok, God. this is totally up to You. Texas is the last place i'm waiting to hear from. i trust You." and a couple days later, i got an e-mail from the camp in Texas saying, "we've looked over your application and would like to interview you."
WOW.
so, the next week (MAY) they called and we talked...for 2 1/2 hours. it was so refreshing and encouraging and i hung up thanking God for even the opportunity to talk with them. they said they'd let me know at least by the end of the week or early the next week. "God, i trust You. if they offer me the position, thank You. if they don't, thank You. i know You know what's best for me. not my will, but YOUR will be done." it was really the first time in my life where i had complete peace, no matter which way it went. God is so great :) so...i waited...and waited...and waited...and finally, tuesday of the next week, i got a phone call from Texas. "hi, molly! i was just wondering if you've had a chance to think about the internship and was wondering if you'd like to join our team here in Texas for a year." silence. shock.
WOW.
"yes, i would!"...i said it almost without thinking. and there it was. i committed to going to texas...for a year...with people i didn't even know...not knowing if i'd even be able to come home at all...thinking about all the things i would miss out on here at home...counting the cost. and i cried. tears from every emotion possible. and i asked myself, "what did i just do? did i really do that?"...and it started to sink in. i told my mom...and dad...and they were excited...and cried, too. i told my brothers...and they were excited. and the next couple days were a blur of every emotion under the sun.
CRAZY.
but honestly, let me tell you...these past couple weeks God has ignited in me an excitement that is completely from Him! is it pretty much insanity that 2 weeks after i return from an unbelievable time in South Africa, i'm getting on a plane and heading down to Texas for a whole year? YES. is it kind of crazy that i won't be home for a year? ABSOLUTELY. am i still overwhelmed at all of this? 100%! but let me tell you this: God has orchestrated EVERY aspect and detail. i will be in a place of discipleship and community. i will be in a place that lifts Jesus higher. i will be in a place where i will be encouraged and challenged to live my life in the footsteps of Jesus. i know it will be hard at times. i know it will be uncomfortable. i know that this will stretch me in ways i never imagined. but do you know what i also know? that it will be SO worth it. because do you know why? because Jesus is worth it. 100%.
WOW. CRAZY.
yeah. so, this is my life at the moment. and i am asking you to join me in prayer as i prepare for the next couple months of my life. that my eyes would stay glued on Jesus. that i would press more INTO Him and not my own understanding. that i would continue to trust Him with my whole heart. that i would continue to follow Him step by step, wherever He may call me. and ultimately, that HE would be lifted higher and higher and become famous and known and glorified.
thank you for being a vital part of my life, every step of it. i would not be who i am today or where i am today without you. you have challenged me, encouraged me, spoken truth to me, supported me, loved me, held me, listened to me, been my biggest fan, laughed with me, cried with me, been on adventures with me, pointed me to Jesus. and for that, i am forever grateful.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...He has made everything beautiful in its time..." ~Ecclesiastes 3:1,11a
