so...the past couple days have been downers for me. things have just felt off. i lost my drivers license. my heart was hurting. i cried. i didn't write in my journal much. and just felt...disconnected. there were lots of things going through my head/heart...knowing i just needed to SIT and be with Jesus for a while. to slow down and let it all out...pour out my heart to Him and acknowledge what He was speaking to me...and be honest about what was going through my heart. but the thing was, i never did that. i kept trying to do it on my own. i kept running...and getting no where. i kept pushing down what was really there and deeming it unimportant. that i would deal with it later, but for now i need to just keep moving on...and do it myself. dude. i was SO MISERABLE! i was seriously falling apart on the inside! those who know me well probably could tell something was up...but for all the others, i put up the front that i was completely fine. no help needed here. i got it all under control. well...yesterday one of my devos was talking about how we need to slow down and just sit with Jesus. people on the outside might not know that you need it or notice a difference when you don't spend time with Jesus...but YOU do...and God does. that got me...but i didn't DO anything about it. this morning as i was reading my Bible, verses started popping out and being so relevant to my heart, i felt like i needed to write them down. i pushed that aside. finally God was like "Hey...write those verses down." so...i did. and in the course of my time with Him, He not only spoke through His word...He spoke with His mouth, straight to my heart. honesty. real. raw. gentle. love. TRUTH. this is what He said:
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, "No, we will fell on horses." Therefore you will flee! You said, "We will ride off on swift horses." Therefore your pursuers will be swift'...Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him. O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. how gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction...Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered in gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, 'Away with you!'...when the LORD binds up the bruises of His people and heals the wounds He inflicted." ~Isaiah 30:15-16,18-22,26)
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." ~Galatians 5:1
"Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. My soul will be satisfied...Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." ~Psalm 63:3,5,7-8
Stop running from Me. Stop hiding. My desire is to help you...to give you rest. But you are rejecting me, putting your trust in yourself, your plans and understanding, and others to help you and save you.
I am the only One who can rescue. I am the only One who can redeem. I am the only One who can truly heal the broken pieces of your heart.
Why are you running from Me? Why do you reject My help-My loving hand? Do you think I have not heard your cries for help? Are you discouraged because I have been silent and you think I have forgotten you? Are you angry with Me for not answering the way you had hoped?
Oh, Child-stop trusting in human understanding. Stop putting your hope in mere idols. Do you not know they can do nothing for you? They are created by human hands-human thoughts. They cannot and will not help you.
Put your hope in Me.
I see you. I REALLY see you, My Beloved. You do not believe this because you are so busy desiring to be seen by others. I SEE YOU.
I delight in you. But you do not see or believe this because you are too busy delighting in and trying to be delighted in by others. I DELIGHT IN YOU.
I sing songs over you. But you do not hear these songs because you are too busy singing for others...and having them sing over you. I SING SONGS OVER YOU.
I desire to quiet you with My love-I LOVE YOU. But you do not see or feel or believe this love because you are so busy desiring to be loved by others. do you not see that there is no quieting your spirit/heart when you seek to be loved? Do you not feel restless dying to please others? Does your love not become based on fear-of rejection, abandonment, not being good enough, being too much, not being enough?
Beloved, I long to quiet those fears with My love. My perfect love that casts out all fear. Do you not know that My love is better than life itself? Do you not know that you can rest in Me-in My love feast? That we can abide together in who I AM-and you will always be satisfied?
Dear One, this is My desire-that you would know Me in ALL My fullness. That you would cease striving-REST-and know that I am God. That you would know in the deepest depths of your being:
I SEE YOU.
I DELIGHT IN YOU.
I SING SONGS OVER YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
Love,
Your Lover and King
Your Daddy
No comments:
Post a Comment