fantasy...or ultimate?

so, i watched a movie last week...a "chick flick" to be exact. the typical, "the guy meets the girl and after a few mishaps, they make up and they all live happily ever after" kind. after i watch these kinds of movies, i usually sigh and think "man, i can't wait for that to happen to me some day."

except...that's not what got me this time.

this time, i was so blown away by the use of a woman's body to get...and KEEP a man's attention. there was barely ANYTHING about her inside...about her character...about her heart. (i know not all movies have that...but i can think of quite a few that do!)

and after watching this...it left me thinking: "wow. i wish i had a body that would capture a man's attention."

yep. 100% truth right there.

and...as i was sitting there thinking that, God comes back at me with this:

"Do you really want a guy who only cares about what's on the outside...and not the INSIDE? Your character and heart?"

and i sat there...and wrestled.

i said: "well, yeah, God, i want that...but the outside doesn't hurt, right?"

and God just kept saying over and over again: "Do you really want a guy who only cares about what's on the outside...and not the INSIDE? Your character and heart?"

i've heard that so many times...i've mentioned it to A LOT of girls over the past few years...and there comes a point when you have to take your own advice (ESPECIALLY when God speaks it right back to the deepest corners of your heart) and believe it.

because over the past few days i've really been thinking about it...and i realize that the more concerned i am about my outward appearance, the less concerned i am about the condition of my heart. and the less i'm concerned about my heart, the more my heart becomes ugly...and i start to act ugly and i forget the BEAUTY that is JESUS...and that He is ultimately beautiful and not just useful...and that, really, HE is living inside of me...so shouldn't beauty be coming OUT of me?

our culture...movies...commercials...clothing stores...it seems EVERYWHERE...the message that is being spoken to us is this:

"look this way. eat this. don't eat that. how to look sexier in a week. less is more."

and on and on it goes. and we're told how to be on the outside to get attention that is only temporary and fleeting and appeals only to the flesh. very rarely are we ever encouraged to nurture and care for what REALLY counts...our hearts. that's what i love about Jesus...and His word. it's SO relevant to us in showing us what REALLY matters...what will last forever.

and who doesn't want that?

"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." ~Romans 13:14

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." ~Colossians 3:12-14

so, i've been faced with this question: fantasy reality or ultimate reality?

fantasy reality: what movies portray...an escape from dealing with the hurts in my heart and the ugly that is there. a picture where everything turns out just right and i live happily ever after with a guy who is really only interested in what i look like on the outside.

ultimate reality: what Jesus portrays...HIS BEST FOR ME. dealing with the hurts in my heart and the ugly that is there...but not alone and not in a human relationship. a picture where eventually everything turns out just right because of HIS PERFECT love and forgiveness and death and resurrection. and a love i get to have as much of as i want and it never runs out and He's everything i could ever need/ask for...and more. a love to true, it sees the deepest parts of me and doesn't run away. a God who sees my heart for what it is...and offers to clothe me in beauty, not my own...but in robes of righteousness, given to me by Jesus, who IS my righteousness...in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love. and my happily ever after is secured for me in heaven...a love story that will truly, never end.

so, with all of this said, i choose the ULTIMATE reality. i choose JESUS. and i will continue to choose JESUS, even after He Lord-willing brings a man into my life who loves my heart and not just what i look like...and even if He doesn't. 

because, God? i DON'T really want a guy who only cares about what's on the outside.